Joshua Hawk

“The wilderness is not punishment; it is God’s preparation for His promise.” – John Bevere

This past week I had the privilege of serving at a youth camp in Roaring Springs, TX. While there, I had a revelation about the wilderness season I have been going through for the past two years. After the Thursday night service on June 20th, 2019, I walked around the back of the tabernacle alone. It was pitch black and the only source of light came from the stars above. That night my heart was heavy and broken but I was released from something that was dragging me down for almost two years.

In June 2017, I was serving in youth ministry but the door was quickly shut. For two years I felt the constant pressure to prove my worth; not only to people at my home church but to others in my district. I had people in elevated positions, even close friends of mine, flaunt their superiority over me making me feel even more insignificant than what I was already feeling. As I write this, I am not a pastor of any sort, I hold no title or position in the church, and I am not credentialed. At least not yet. All I have is a calling from God, a heavy burden for the condition of the church, and an insatiable desire to do something extraordinary for the kingdom of God. Despite all of this, I finally came to the realization behind the tabernacle that night that God has chosen me and has been preparing me for the past two years. That night, I finally came to embrace the wilderness season and surrendered to God’s will and His process.

Although I am not certain if the wilderness season is over yet, I can say for certain that God has built me up and taught me a whole lot during this process. The process hasn’t been easy but here are four things that I have learned during my season of preparation so far.

Bridling The Tongue

“The greatest test of a man’s character is his tongue.” – Oswald Chambers

During my wilderness season, I often found myself grumbling about the circumstances around me. Whether it was my job or a lack of progress in my ministry, I didn’t think it was fair that I had to be rejected and forced to submit to lukewarm prayerless people who weren’t led of the Spirit and did things their way. Most of the time it conflicted with what the Holy Spirit was speaking to me. During my season of preparation, the Lord has shown me how poor the condition of the church is and how desperately the culture of prayer and worship needs to be changed; however, I have been relegated to the sidelines where all I can do is watch while the home team gets kicked in the pants. Imagine how frustrating this is! But scripture instructs us to do everything without complaining.

“Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life. And then I will be able to boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor in vain.” Philippians 2:14-16 NIV

James also teaches us that the tongue is an unruly evil full of deadly poison. (James 3:1-12). When we get into an intense fellowship with another person, the natural tendency is to interrupt and vilify them. And more often than not, we are not listening to the other person because we are formulating a response in our minds. But James also instructs us to be quick to listen and to be slow to speak.

“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desire.” James 1:19-20 NIV

The Lord has taught me a great deal about this and I have come a long way; however, I truly believe He will continue to develop these traits within me.

Having Humility

“True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.” – C.S. Lewis

The one thing that is more important than titles, positions, or years of experience is ones character. In a world that often puts a greater emphasis on qualifications and résumés, God values the condition of the heart.

“But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do no consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7 NIV

During my wilderness season, God taught me to remain humble and to always think of myself less. At camp, the speaker Jacob Jester made an interesting comment that resonated with me. He said, “The problem with the millennial generation is they want the elevated position without the pain of earning it.” True leaders are good followers. I have learned that having a servants heart like Jesus is more important than any title or position. People tend to take pride in their titles and positions but I want to be a person who elevates Jesus at my lowest and one who elevates Jesus when I’m blessed.

“In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death – even death on a cross!” Philippians 2:5-8 NIV

“In the same way, you who are younger, submit yourselves to your elders. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another because, “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.” 1 Peter 5:5-6 NIV

Having a Teachable Spirit

“To be humble is to be teachable.” – Richard G. Scott

During my wilderness season, God has taught me the importance of being teachable. My friends from Chi Alpha and I are open and honest with each other. We honor each other publicly for things done well and we are blunt with each other privately when things need improvement. I have been on the receiving end for things that need improvement in my life. Although correction can be hard to receive, I have taken all forms of criticism with a grateful heart and have used them to improve the areas that need strengthening.

The problem with many people today is they stop learning once they become leaders. Many of these leaders use “authority” as an excuse to be incorrigible and unteachable. The bible certainly teaches us to submit to authority but with elevated positions comes the temptation of pride. Some in authority refuse correction from any source and become Pharisaical in their self-righteousness but God uses anything and anyone to hold people in power accountable. God’s chosen instrument in the Bible: people of no significance. In the Old Testament, God raised up prophets from the lower strata of society. Most of them were extremely poor and wore sackcloth but God used these people to bring correction to the kings of Israel and Judah. Most of these kings rejected the prophets because of their pride and had many of them martyred because of it. Manasseh had Isaiah sawn in half and Joash had Zechariah stoned (2 Chronicles 24:20-22). In the New Testament, Stephen was also martyred because he rebuked the Sanhedrin, the highest religious authority of the time, for killing Jesus! (Acts 7).

“Those who disregard discipline despise themselves, but the one who heeds correction gains understanding.” Proverbs 15:32 NIV

“If a leader isn’t teachable, he will be resistant to hearing instruction both from God and from others and will likely make little progress when it comes to personal growth and spiritual maturity. The unteachable leader will eventually fall into other sins and disqualify himself. If a person is truly teachable, he’s open to whatever God might wish to show him on virtually any issue and in regard to all sin. If the leader is truly teachable, he will freely grant other people permission and freedom to speak into his life, even on matters that we might otherwise regard as extremely personal and, in other contexts, off-limits” (True Leaders Are Teachable, 2016).

My favorite biblical example of having a teachable spirit is king David. King David had an affair with Bathsheba and tried to cover it up by having Uriah, Bathsheba’s husband, killed in battle (2 Samuel 11). When David thought he had gotten away with it, God sent the prophet Nathan to rebuke him. King David easily could have responded to the rebuke with, “It’s not your place to tell me what to do! Shut your mouth before I have you killed!” After all, that’s exactly what King Amaziah of Judah said to another prophet when God rebuked him for worshipping idols (2 Chronicles 25:14-16). On the contrary, king David had a very different response. Although he was the anointed king of Israel, David received the correction from Nathan and repented of his sin and error (2 Samuel 12:1-15). Let us all have a teachable spirit like king David!

“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” Hebrews 12:11 NIV

Being a Man of Prayer

“If weak in prayer we are weak everywhere.'” – Leonard Ravenhill

Out of the four things I have learned during my wilderness season, this is by far the most important thing I have learned. Prayer is the most powerful form of worship but it is also the most neglected. The American church has put a greater emphasis on music that prayer has virtually become nonexistent in the church. Sadly, I witnessed this at youth camp this past week. The daily prayer meetings were low in attendance and the majority of those present “pressed in” by singing along with the worship music that was being played through the sound system.

I once heard that the leaders of the church are the spiritual thermostat of the church. This means the leaders set the temperature of the church. If the leaders are prayer less and lukewarm, the church also will be prayer less and lukewarm. Very rarely will the church body be hotter than its leaders; therefore, the church is only as good as its leaders. The number one cause of lukewarmness for any believer or church body is prayerlessness. My desire is to be a man who makes prayer the foundation of my intimacy with God and to be a hot thermostat for those around me. I want my entire life and future ministry to be fully dependent on God and the direction of the Holy Spirit. Prayer is truly a powerful thing and without it our labors are all in vain!

“The prayer of a righteous person and powerful and effective.” James 5:16 NIV

Conclusion

“But do not make a mistake: God cannot do a great work through you without doing a great work in you first.” – Evan Roberts

That night behind the tabernacle, I finally let go of the pressure to prove myself to people. I believed for too long that I was nothing but I realize these past two years have all been preparation for something that I cannot see yet. Whatever it is, I intend to take everything I have learned so far and to apply it always; even long after God has opened that door. Many people in ministry are self-appointed or man-appointed and never get the chance to experience the growth like I have so far but I rejoice in the wilderness because I know God has chosen me for something amazing and impactful!