We live in a contract-oriented society where business deals are struck everyday. After signatures are applied on dotted lines and handshakes are traded, both parties usually walk away happy because everyone is getting something out of the deal that benefits them in the foreseeable future. However, unfair contracts and unhappy parties usually lead to problems and legal implications that cost a lot of money. Today, marriage is often approached the same way; like a contract. A man and woman agree to love each other as long as the conditions apply. But if one or both parties are unhappy, they seek to void the contract through legal means. But marriage isn’t a contract; it’s a COVENANT.
The concept of covenant is used all throughout the Bible but it is a misunderstood word that doesn’t get used very often today. To understand what a covenant is, let’s look at Joshua 9. For the sake of brevity, I will provide a link to Joshua 9. I will also provide a brief summary.
Joshua son of Nun was appointed the successor to Moses to lead the 12 tribes of Israel into the promised land. The promised land was a land that God promised centuries ago in a covenant with Abram to give to his descendants (Genesis 15:18-21). God instructed Israel to wipe out the inhabitants of this land before dwelling there. In chapter 9 of Joshua, the people of Gibeon, who lived in the promised land, heard of Israel and were fearful of their God so they sent out some of their men to meet with Joshua. These men were deceptive and put on old clothes and brought moldy bread to give the appearance that they were from a distant land and traveling a very long time. These people told Joshua that they heard of the reports of what God did for them in Egypt during the Exodus and their conquest of Canaan after crossing the Jordan river and they came to make a covenant with them.
“Then the men of Israel took some of their provisions; but they did not ask counsel of the Lord. So Joshua made peace with them, and made a covenant with them to let them live; and the rulers of the congregation swore to them.” Joshua 9:14-15 NKJV
I want everyone to notice something about this. Joshua made a covenant with the Gibeonites WITHOUT seeking God’s approval. The repercussions of making decisions without seeking God for guidance can be something to learn from as Joshua discovered. The covenant that they made would backfire on them three days later when they discovered that the Gibeonites were not who they said they were. They were actually neighbors living in Canaan! Needless to say, Joshua was angry about this deception but when the Israelites went into their city to claim their land, they could not harm the Gibeonites because of the covenant they made with them!
400 years later, a famine fell upon the land of Israel for three years. King David prayed to God and God revealed that Israel was under a curse because David’s predecessor, King Saul, murdered some Gibeonites; the same people that Joshua made a covenant with 400 years before. Saul had violated the covenant. So David went before the Gibeonites to make amends for Saul’s offense. As a result, seven of Saul’s descendant were put to death to appease the Gibeonites. (2 Samuel 21:1-9 NKJV)
What’s unusual about this is even though Joshua and the Gibeonites of that generation have been dead for hundreds of years, the covenant was still active! Saul wasn’t alive yet when the covenant was made but because he was an Israelite and shed Gibeonite blood, he violated this ancient covenant. Despite Saul violating the covenant, the covenant remained resolute and had to be rectified. In fact, the covenant between the Israelites and Gibeonites still stands to this very day!
By reading this story and other stories in the Bible involving covenants, we discover that covenants are similar to contracts but with one major difference; contracts can be both broken and voided while covenants can be broken but cannot be voided. Now that we all understand the concept of covenant, let’s proceed with a type of covenant that is still common and highly sought after today – marriage.
Marriage is a covenant made before God between a man and a woman. Vows are made and are binding “till death do us part.” Romans 7:2 in the NIV says, “For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law that binds her to him.” Thus, the only thing that has power to relinquish a marriage covenant is death. But a lot of married couples have many reasons for wanting to leave the covenant before death; some legitimate and some not so much. Despite the reasons for divorce, divorce cannot negate a marriage covenant. Divorce is an ugly thing and God hates it. Malachi 2:16 in the NLT says, “For I hate divorce!” says the Lord, the God of Israel. “To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife.” Additionally, 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 in the NIV says, “To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.”
What a lot of couples fail to realize is a covenant is still effective even after divorce. Couples may split and get divorced but they are still in covenant with each other because death has not occurred. That is why Jesus said a divorced person who remarries commits adultery. “But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.” Matthew 5:32 NKJV. It’s also worth noting that the Bible only permits remarriage for people who are widows or widowers (1 Corinthians 7:39, Romans 7:2-3).
Covenants are very serious. For those who are married, I encourage you all to keep the covenant healthy and strong by placing Christ in the center of your marriage; not your kids. For those who are going through a divorce or have been divorced, stay strong and know that the love of the Father is sufficient for you. I encourage you to seek fulfillment and wholeness in Christ; not in another person. For those who are dating, courting, or engaged, I encourage you to seek counsel of the Lord before considering marriage or taking your vows. It is easy to be swept away with the emotions of a relationship and how things feel. Too many couples rush into marriage because of physical attraction, butterflies, chemistry, or loneliness. But please understand that once vows are made, the covenant is for life and cannot be lifted until death occurs. Do not settle for anything less than what you deserve and who God has for you! A lot of people marry Gibeonites in the sense that the person they get into covenant with turn out to be different from how they portrayed themselves before the covenant. Their husbands turn out to be bums who sit on their La-Z-Boys all day playing video games and watching football. Or their wives turn out to be very controlling, have a lot of insecurities, and constantly nag. My friends, seek God before making a covenant with another individual. For those who are single, do not be in a rush to get into covenant and DO NOT SETTLE. If you are in a season of waiting, be patient and trust that God will work everything out according to His perfect timing. He knows what He is doing and doesn’t need your help. God is writing your story so stop trying to steal the pen.
Joshua Hawk 