Joshua Hawk

It’s almost that time of year again: the end of a year and a start of a new one! With a New Year comes resolutions and new promises. People will make resolutions to lose weight, break old habits, and create new habits. The list can go on and on. But with the New Year rapidly approaching, I got to thinking about how I want this next year to go for me. I could make half a dozen resolutions about going to the gym more, writing and recording more songs, and getting better at the drums. I could even make a resolution to not have a resolution this year. But I want my resolution for 2018 to be impactful and steadfast.

Before I reveal what my resolution for 2018 is, I want to provide a brief back story to how I got to this point. Let’s go back to 2004. When I was a junior in high school, I was called to the music ministry. I was a trumpet player in the high school band but I quickly picked up keyboard and guitar and started playing those instruments in the church. Over the course of the next few years, I played in various church worship teams but I felt God was calling me to do more. So in 2006, I started taking bible courses through Global University. While I was taking these courses, I was provided many opportunities to preach at a small church in New Mexico. I was even placed in an intern associate pastor position.  I did this for about a year but I wasn’t sure if pastoring was my calling so I stopped taking bible courses and stuck with what I already knew was my calling which was worship.

Fast forward to 2017, I started helping out with the youth worship band at my church in Lubbock, TX. I saw it as an opportunity to mentor high school students and to teach them how to worship reverently. This went on for a month until one Saturday night after prayer meeting, I had a vision of me sharing my testimony with the kids. I didn’t think much of it until the next morning at church when our youth pastors announced that they were stepping down to take a youth pastoring job in Colorado. Their announcement was totally unexpected but I immediately knew that my vision could only mean one thing. I met with both our exiting youth pastor and senior pastor at different intervals to express that I wanted to help out during the transitional period. At the time, I wasn’t 100% sure if God wanted me to be the next youth pastor but I definitely wanted to test the waters and let God lead me.

During this time, God placed a burden in my heart for the youth. I know how godless and secular my generation is and I fear the generation after me will continue in this downward trend. The church will be theirs to run one day and if they aren’t properly taught or equipped now, what will the condition of the church be like in 10-20 years? It’s a terrifying thought! Nevertheless, God placed a burden in my heart to intercede for them. I would go to the youth room alone every Saturday to pray anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour. I would pray in the Spirit and often God would speak to me. One Saturday, God spoke to me Isaiah 29:13. “The Lord says: “These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship of me is based on merely human rules they have been taught.” After this, I saw the teens from an entirely new perspective. These teens were good kids and faithful but almost all of them have a relationship with their phones and no relationship with God whatsoever. The need became so real to me so I made it an effort to address this in my messages each week.

During the transitional period, the children’s pastor and I took turns running the youth. During the nights I preached, I saw God do incredible things. Kids were being transformed and broken at the altars. It was an encouraging time but all glory goes to God. This went on for a couple of months. I felt God was leading me to be the next youth pastor but I had doubts in the back of my mind about the finances. If I was to be the next youth pastor, I would have to quit my job to take a full time job at the church making less than half than what my current salary was. Despite my doubts, I knew God was leading me to be the next youth pastor. I knew this because I had two complete strangers approach me and speak that God would use me to bring a revival to the youth. This was confirmation from God. I couldn’t afford the pay cut so I started looking for other employment opportunities. My plan was I would just work at the church during the day and work evenings as an IT technician so my income wasn’t affected. But before I could start applying, it was too late. On my way to church to deliver a message to the kids one Wednesday night, I was informed by the senior pastor that he offered the youth pastoring position to our children’s pastor. I was devastated. God was using me and in an instant, everything came to a screeching halt. I blamed myself because I never vocalized to our senior pastor what I felt God was leading me to do. Maybe if I did, the outcome would be different but I truly felt like I failed God and the youth. To make things worse, God was silent. All I could do was pray that my labor wasn’t in vain and that God would have His way. It was a tough season but looking back, I realize it was a test. God used that situation to push me into doing something that I never thought I would do and now I know beyond a shadow of a doubt what I must do.

So that brings me to today. With renewed strength and determination, I have decided to finish what I started a little over 10 years ago. I will be completing my bible courses in 2018 to get credentialed with the Assemblies of God. I know God has great plans for me and I want to remain obedient. I haven’t always been obedient to the will of God but that is going to change. The door to being a youth pastor may have been closed for now but I’m certain other opportunities will arise in the near future. So that brings me back to my resolution of 2018. What would be an impactful and steadfast resolution for the New Year? It’s not losing weight. It’s not taking up new habits. It’s not finding love. But it’s being obedient to the call and the gentle nudging of the Holy Spirit. For it is only in obedience that we can truly be blessed and have the favor of God in this New Year. For as the scripture says “obedience is better than sacrifice.” God will never lead us down an impossible path so going forward, I choose to trust Him through obedience and prayer.